I Want To Continue This Dream

Camp Ethelontêr has officially ended. Yesterday, we bade farewell to everyone, both councillors and freshmen, and each made our way home after having spent a good 4 or 5 days continuously together. It was a first for me: to take part in an orientation camp as a councillor. I will never forget all the joy, sorrow, friends, exhilaration, etc. the camp has brought me.

For me, even though it was a 5½-Day, 5-Night camp, it all just seemed to have passed me by too soon. I want to continue playing. I want to continue interacting with the freshmen and councillors. I want more time. I want to continue to be surrounded by fun and people. I want to keep doing Romi (The name of my group in the camp. By the way, my group came out tops as the Best Group.) cheers. I want to continue doing so many things related to the camp. You may not believe it but it is really very sad for me to blog this entry. It is like officially drawing the end-line to everything.

I am going to keep this entry short. Words cannot sufficiently describe what I went through and everything that happened to me during the camp. Maybe pictures can. I will try show some of them when they have been uploaded for sharing by my fellow councillors.

To everyone involved in Camp Ethelontêr 2005:
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have brought me. See you all again some time!!

The Show Must And Will Go On

I have not slept a wink in the past twenty-odd hours or so. Here I am blogging early in the morning when I should be studying for my upcoming test in less than 5 hours time or sleeping and recovering energy for the long hours ahead in the camp. Okay, I lied. I did try to catch a few five-minute breaks within the past four hours. The hyper-me of yesterday has finally calmed down, for the time being.

The program, Cluedo Night, I am involved in for the camp, is over!! There were some hiccups during the start of the event and I must admit the situation was a bit messy. As the assistant-in-charge, I am partly responsible for the messy situation. For a moment, it seemed as though the program will be delayed by quite some time. But thanks to the support from the other councillors of the camp, the show went on with only a slight bit of delay, and rather smoothly I must say. We had so much fun putting up a show for the freshmen, even though they did not seem very much entertained. Looking back, I wished I had not taken up the offer to be a cast member. That cost the person-in-charge, Crystal, quite a headache for she was left short of manpower to help carry out important tasks. I’m so sorry, Crystal. But hey! I still think we did a great job nevertheless despite those moments of desperation right before the commencement of the event. Now we can finally take a breather, something we have not done since very long ago.

Hmm… Anyone care to make a guess what my acting role was, for Cluedo Night?

Hyper! And More…

Ooh… It’s the second day of the FOC and I am blogging this from camp!! Most of the camp participants are away on an Amazing Race-style game around Singapore, visiting the various homes that come under the Club’s Regular Volunteering Program. I, however, have stayed back in campus with a few people to help Crystal, the person-in-charge out for a game the freshmen will be playing tonight.

I am feeling super-hyper today. I loved the rush of excitement that welled up in me as I ran up and down, carrying stuff here and there. It could be because of the game which I will be participating in as a station master tonight. Maybe it’s because I have language lessons out of campus tomorrow. Or it could be a continuation of yesterday’s rush of madness that came over me. Perhaps it’s due to the silence and solitude around the hostel we are staying in. Whatever the reason, it’s Saturday (I love weekends too!) today and I am feeling extremely happy and hyperactive!!

Speaking of the madness that came over me yesterday, I haven’t experienced such a rush in a very long time since last I am able to recall it. I think the last time I crapped so much, made no sense to conversations and persistently irritated people was back in JC days with the Bridge people and 00S37 classmates. I can’t believe I threw a water bomb at Fred last night! Mad and happy, that was what I was (Oops, at the expense of a friend who was rather dry then, I think, till the bomb struck him. Sorry, Fred =Þ)

I will chat about something else from here now that I recall a conversation I had yesterday. Like another friend, Zixiang mentioned university friends are mostly "Hi-Bye" acquaintances. Someone else told me not long ago "it’s the quality of the friendship that counts, not the quantity of friends". Then about a week back, Jiawei told me if a group of people come to work together for a long time, work well with each other and know each other well, then they will naturally stay close to each other even if they cease to work together in the future. So many thoughts about friendship floating about in this tiny brain of mine, leaving me with a hard time trying to make sense of it all. I guess I ponder over these kind of things because I am a worry-nut by nature. Personally, even though I know it is inevitable, I think it’s sad that people come to part after having shared some wonderful times together. Once, there were friends united by a cause yet that friendship was eventually lost without a purpose. 道不同 不相为某 (If people have different paths to take, they will have nothing to do with each other). This reminds me of a line Paul once put on his blog, "Everything’s eventual".

PS: Bye Andrew! Sorry I haven’t seen you much over the holidays when you came back =( See you next year and have a safe trip!

About The Upcoming Camp

The Freshmen Orientation Camp starts in 2 days time!! Quite a number of us have spent a significant amount of time over the past few weeks on preparation work for the camp. In a week’s time, we will know if all our efforts have paid off.

We had game trials, rehearsals and spent plenty of time in between these events in the clubroom doing our best to contribute to the camp’s success. I got to know more about a few people like Crystal, Fred and Mei Toon after having seen and worked with each other for a continuous period of time of over 2 weeks. There were highs and lows throughout this period, be it while we(as in all the councillors, not just the 3 of them) were working together or out for gatherings and dinners. Overall, it was a very enriching experience for me. I want to thank all fellow councillors for the joy they have brought me. May the camp be a success!

I don’t think I will be as sad as I made it out to be in a few entries ago when the camp ends. Memories I will always have with me remind me of the good times I have had with these friends. I will look forward to seeing them after the camp, even if it’s just a simple ‘Hi’ as we pass each other by along the corridors.

"さよならは 言わないの また会えるから"

– 夢のつづき by 帝国歌劇団, Ending Theme of サクラ大戦 2

"Don’t say goodbye because we can meet again some day"

– Continuation Of A Dream by Imperial Song Troupe, Ending Theme of Sakura Wars 2

Reach

I remember a British pop group that, with their songs, made me smile and lifted my spirits when I was down. They sang tunes of joy and of keeping a positive attitude. I used to be so crazy about them during my JC days.

S Club 7

I woke up this very Sunday morning and got ready to go for my language lesson near Raffles Place MRT as usual. All of a sudden, while I was on the way there via the public bus, a familiar song started to play in my head. It just happened out of the blue.

Reach by S Club 7

In that instant, all the depressing thoughts that had accumulated in my mind vanished. Like a ‘positive’ drug, the ringing song in my head made me happy and cheerful again. This sudden bout of joy is going to last for quite some time. I can feel it. I am sure of it =)

"When the world leaves you feeling blue
You can count on me
I will be there for you
When it seems all your hopes and dreams
Are a million miles away
I will reassure you

We got to all stick together
Good friends there for each other
Never ever forget that I got you and you got me…"

– Reach by S Club 7 from the album, 7

You Know Something Is Wrong When…

… you turn to a laptop to play happy songs to cheer you up…
… but end up playing more of sad and slow songs.
… you cannot tell if you are happy, angry or sad or feeling anything for that matter.
… you appear to be sulking half the time with friends.
… silence is the only thing you can contribute to conversations.
… you keep staring into blank space, lost in your little world.
… you realise that songs that once inspired you have stopped ringing in your head.
… you turn to work to forget everything else in life.
… everything you do or do not do seems to be accompanied with a subtle desire to seek attention.
… home is the last place you want to be at.
… you spend more time interacting with your laptop then people.

"We all just want to know that we matter.
We want validation.
We want the same things."

– Oprah Winfrey

Close your heart to the world,
Void of emotions,
Pain…

– Layout Ver. 1:2 – Millia Rage

On Music And Film

I got this survey from Denny’s blog:

Music

1. Total volume of music files on my computer: 1.37 GB
2. The last CD I bought was: Being Somebody by Liberty X
3. Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me (In no particular order):
   Bring It All Back by S Club 7
   No Clouds by Liberty X
   Superman by Five For Fighting
   未来(ボヤージュ) by 巴里歌劇団
   輝きは君の中に by 鈴木結女

Film

1. Total number of films I own on DVD/video: 1
2. The last film(and only film) I bought: Charlie’s Angels
3. Last film I watched:
   In the cinema: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith
   On DVD/VCD etc: I don’t recall…
4. Five films that I watch a lot, or that mean a lot to me (In no particular order):
   The Polar Express Made me rediscover the longing child in me
   Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind Fantastic plot/premise with twist
   Shrek Absolutely hilarious
   The Cider House Rules One of those rare films that touched me
   Love Actually A heart-warming romantic comedy
5. Tag 5 people and have them put this in their journal:
   It’s just for fun, go on, put it in your blog!

United By A Cause, Lost Without A Purpose

The answers to the title of this entry: Friends and friendship.

Looking at all the councillors who attended today’s event at the beaches of Sentosa, it dawned upon me. Here is a group of people I have gotten to know over the course of the past few weeks. I have gotten to know more people and worked often with quite a few of them. They welcomed me into their already-tight group and I have gotten along well with them. Here we are, on Sentosa, united by a cause: The upcoming camp.

Looking at all the councillors who attended today’s event at the beaches of Sentosa, something else dawned upon me. Here is a group of people I will not see two weeks from now. No matter how much I have seen them, talked to them or worked with them over the past few weeks, these friendships made seem to be missing something. What remains to see is whether all these will be lost in two weeks time, without a purpose: No more camp activities.

How can I forge friendships that last?
How do I make friends who will stay in contact after the party is over?
Do I arrange for dinner gatherings that start with "How have you been?"?
Do I send messages over the mobile or through MSN to them to remind them of me?
Does a simple wave, when we pass each other along the corridor, suffice?
Does it count if I go out of the way to make a friend be aware of me?

"Hi-Bye" acquaintances or "Good friends in-the-making"? I don’t know. Maybe I should just cherish this moment, basking in the company of these new friends. Maybe it’ll work out and I’ll see more of them after the camp in meetings and lunches that don’t end in awkward silences. Maybe…

"Walking all the days of my life
I must have passed you by
a thousand times
Talking ’til the dawn
breaks the night
with so many friends by my side
but I’ve never felt so alone…"

– Maybe by Liberty X from the album, Being Somebody

Will You Make Another Person’s Day Better?

If…
- You are sitting in a bus that is about to pull away from the bus stop. You see someone running from a distance, trying to catch your bus. The bus driver, oblivious to the potential passenger, scans the road for traffic. Will you ask the driver to wait?
- You are walking along a busy street and see your friend approaching you from a distance. He is talking to his friend and has yet to notice you. Will you take the initiative and say ‘Hi’ when the two of you pass each other?
- You are standing in the rain, beneath the shelter of your umbrella, at a pedestrian crossing. The ‘red man’ just came on. There’s someone standing not far from you, waiting for the ‘green man’ without an umbrella. Will you go up to the person and offer to share your umbrella?
- You are sitting by yourself in a crowded train. The seat next to you frees up at the current stop. A mother who has just entered the carriage, promptly seats her child next to you. Will you give up your seat for her?

It is not everyone’s duty to give and receive thanks but it is certainly within everyone’s capability to do so. Community service and volunteer work are some of the things we do to help the especially needy. Lost in the sea of stifling crowds and our hectic schedules, aren’t we all in need in one way or another?

Remember the last time you helped somebody?